I don't write much in here, for a blog I suppose. I'm much more of a visual person so I usually prefer photographs and drawings, little hand written quotes or small snippets of thought. Although I must admit, some days are worth slowing down to write and read. Today should be spent running around town finally getting errands done seeing as I will have visitors in this weekend. However, Basis, where I am currently working as contracted designer, is done for the weekend while I wait for proofs back. The chocolate shop doesn't have me scheduled until this evening, and studio work has been in full swing all week. This allows me to not feel so guilty taking this morning off.
On that note...
There are certain days where I surprise myself; today was one of them. I woke up from a sleep filled with odd dreams after a conversation that left me uneasy before I went to bed. I decided instead of letting it fester all day I should just say something. I wrote a letter to this person. I didn't intend for it to be long (I wasn't even sure if I should send it) But it all came out, surprisingly just the way I wanted to say it. I get slack from a few people close to me for not being assertive enough, for not getting angry, for being too nice. Perhaps that's true but I try to not think of it in a negative way. Instead I remind myself that getting mad and yelling or saying something irrational probably won't make me feel better for much longer anyway. Things happen in life you don't expect but one thing every event has in common is that it can not be undone. So, no more what ifs.
I won't explain what was said in this post. It's personal and don't feel it's necessary for anyone else to read. However, I will say it ended with this:
Next time I do run into you I'm sure I'll smile, maybe give you a hug and we'll make small talk for a few minutes while we wait for beers or coffee, and it will be as if nothing happened. Or at least that's really all I can hope for.
That's it, the perfect ending to this story. Maybe they will never understand, or agree, to how I was feeling but that's just human nature. People come into your life for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes they won't always be in it for very long. You should always try and remember them for what they were and how they helped you grow. I rarely say exactly what I'm feeling but today I did, and it felt good. I can't help but feel like this is the start of a new chapter, and I couldn't be more excited.