Sunday, September 30, 2012

Goodbye Summer.

Tomorrow is October 1st. Now I do realize that Autumn has already officially begun however, for me, it suddenly felt real today. Today I bought apples. I made acorn squash for the first time. I painted my nails orange and threw away the sandals I've been wearing for the last two spring and summers. I sat on the couch in my dining room with the sun shining in and the Fall colors peeking through this morning and realized Summer was gone.

Ben Howard- Old Pine

I wanted to say thank you Summer, for allowing me to chase the sky on more than one occasion. For giving me this song as an anthem, for camping trips and long car rides. These last few months I got sunburnt way more than was probably healthy. I cut off all my hair. I was promoted. I fell in love. I was inspired, daily. I started a project that has changed the way I think about a lot of things; myself, my work, this city.

Summer is a season that leaves you feeling raw and exposed. There is no covering up, no hiding away, curled up under a blanket. Summer is hot and sticky, a season known for the extremes and this one was no exception. I watched a few great people make a commitment forever to the people that they love. I read some new books and accomplished a few small goals. I cried a lot. I talked to God more than ever.

And now Summer is leaving. No more sundresses with bare legs, soon to be replaced with sweaters and tights. I do realize that plenty of the last few months will be with me forever. Memories and lessons learned will stay like the ice cream stains on one of my favorite dresses. I'll always have the necklace he gave me, the photos of days at the lake and nights out with the girls, the music playlists on my iPod.

And with all that remains much, unfortunately, will not. The tan skin will fade and I'll lose the sun highlights in my hair. I'll put away the purple blanket I carry in my car for impromptu picnics or beach trips. I'll close my windows and embrace the change in seasons. Some things, like Summer, you can't hold on to forever. Sometimes, you just have to force yourself to say goodbye.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Oh photo-booths...

They're the best. Truly. How much fun do people always have in photo-booths!?

Well two of my dear friends got married this past weekend and it was like one big college family reunion; from the minute people got into town Friday night all the way until Sunday playing Apples to Apples while drinking $3 Bloody Marys. All weekend it felt like a part of home had returned to Grand Rapids. I have not smiled that much just being surrounded by people I love in a long time.

That being said, here are a few of my favorite's from last Saturday.

Congrats again Zack and Danielle Kendra, love you both to pieces.


I just wrote an entry about how life sucks sometimes and it's ok to not pretend to be happy all the time. I rambled on about how there are times when you're sad and scared and hurt and sick and tired, sometimes all at the same time.

And then I re-read it and realized I didn't like what I was reading. I didn't like hearing that negativity coming out of my words, and I deleted it. Yes, there are times to be all those things, it's inevitable. This is real life, and sometimes, it's really hard. You wish for things you can't have and cry over those that are out of your control. And after you're finished giving in to all those negative emotions you're left with wondering what comes next. The real truth is, things are not bad forever.

I've had a lot of people tell me lately that no matter what is going on, just remember to breathe. Sometimes it is truly the only advice that works.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Pine River

Camping and canoeing on the Pine River, Labor Day weekend.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Thoughts on marriage

Don't freak out Mom.

Just kidding, she'd probably be semi-excited, but it's not quite like that.
I'm getting to that age in my life where people are starting to get hitched. Two of my great friends from college are getting married in less than a month. My high school best friend is living with her boyfriend and they have a you can see, things are getting pretty serious around here. This morning my friend Mike and I were chatting on and off while working (oh Gmail chat, you're dangerous) and got on the subject of getting married. I looked around the bakery I had posted up in and watched the older couples stroll in and out and my mind started to wander.

After he said "I think it's just time for us to have those thoughts" my tangent went as follows...

I go back and forth a lot. I think, if I'm being totally honest, I've got a bit more living to do before it's time to settle down. I guess though, I've never thought of marriage as this death sentence people seem to joke about. I always thought if I ever got married it wouldn't immediately be followed with the purchase of a house and a dog and a white picket fence. It just meant you found someone to adventure with. You didn't have to do things alone anymore, you had a partner in crime. I don't think you need to lose your friends or stop doing things you love. You just have someone who will always be your cheerleader, who will support you no matter what. Someone who will pack up the car and drive to Maine for a month because you've just always wanted to do that and money's not quite so tight right now. And maybe you put your other dreams on hold and have a ton of babies because you just want nothing more than to see them as a Dad. And maybe you don't because you decided to hike Australia for a few years instead. I think sharing the same beliefs and being in the "right" place in life matter some but I don't always think it's everything. I think it's the understanding that you don't ever want to live without them. You wish they were there even if they're just sitting in the other room while you're reading your book. It won't always be easy and it won't always be fun but that's the nature of life. Anyway, that's what I think, right now, at 23 years old. I can only hope someday someone will decide they want to do all those things with me too.

Mike then proceeded to tell me to stop being so mature. Maybe I should go shotgun a beer or buy a ridiculously expensive pair of impractical shoes.
Don't judge me future husband.